is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
