just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
