my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
