You just made me feel so damn special
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
