Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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