I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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