guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
