People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
wow bdsm is so cute
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
