They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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