you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize