Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
