I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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