angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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