hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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