i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
