I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize