It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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