Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
