well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
