I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
