Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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