You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Semen is not good for contacts.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
