my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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