tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
