Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
