I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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