Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
barbara walters just said penis...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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