It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
