I hope mine doesn't look like that
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
