Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
