just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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