Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
