i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
