I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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