Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
