On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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