HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
