Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
