i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
