You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
