It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
