Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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