Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
