Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
