he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We need to rekindle our bromance
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
