Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
handjob tips. give me some.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
