Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
