you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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