Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
