she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
