she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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