Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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