She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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