I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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