Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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