Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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