Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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