dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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