Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
