May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
