i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
